Gadgets

Hello, my name is George, and I’m addicted to gadgets. It started off with the small stuff, like those little Avocet 20 cycling computers that just told you your speed and your distance…two data points, that was it. Then they came out with computers that also calculated average speed, max speed…more data, and I was hooked. Pretty soon I was scoring heart rate monitors from Polar, and it was all over. Now, thanks to triathlon, I have multiple heart rate monitors, GPS watches, cycling power monitors, aero carbon wheels, 4 bikes, cool sunglasses…you name it, I probably have it. And a bike ride is no longer a bike ride…no, it’s an excuse to gather data. After work I hopped on the bike and went for a nice 20 mile ride. No, strike that; I went for 20.05 miles in 58’03”, at an average speed of 20.7 mph, max speed of 35.9, elevation gain of 1,024’ during the ride, average power output of 214 watts, and max watts was 822. Yeah!! That’s what I’m taking about. Oh, almost forgot…average heart rate was 151 beats per minute, max was 164.

Cooking is also gadget intensive. There are so many things to lust after…nice knives, great cookware, blenders, mixers, scales, utensils, cutting boards, food processors, hand mixers…dozens and dozens of things to go gaga over at the local cooking store (and I have a pretty cool one….Cookswares in Springboro, Ohio). But, there are some gadgets that I turn to time after time, and some that I have pretty much given up on. I’m not going to go into necessities like knives and pots and pans here (that will be another essay), but I’d like to wax poetic for a bit about some of those single use items that have turned out to be singularly useful.

Possibly the absolute bestest, greatest gadget I own is my Chef’s Choice 130 electric knife sharpener. Oh sure, it was something like 130 bucks or something, but oh man, it was worth every penny. Before I got it, I would struggle with dull knives, and then I would grab the sharpening stone, and struggle to put a decent edge on my gorgeous Henckels knives. One Christmas, the Minister of Finance, also known as my wife, Susan, tired of my whining about sharpening the knives, allowed me to purchase the Chef’s Choice. Ever since then, I have had razor sharp knives. Knives that slide through a tomato without so much as stretching the skin…you cooks know what I’m taking about here. So sharp, it was an ½ inch into my thumb before I even knew what was going on. But I don’t care…5 stitches is a cheap price to pay for always perfectly sharp knives. Hate dull knives and hate breaking out the stone even more? Tired of trying to hold that perfect 30 degree angle and put a nice bevel on the edge? Disgusted that after 30 minutes it still won’t slice a piece of paper? Grab a Chef’s Choice and never look back. Just watch where you’re putting your thumb whilst cubing chili meat. Just sayin’….

While I was down at Tyndall AFB in 2005 working in the Air Operations Center for nearly 5 months, my wife bought me some cool stuff from the Pampered Chef as a “welcome home” present. The thing I turn to all the time? The freakin’ apple corer. Seriously. I love that thing. I used to dread staring at a boatload of apples that needed coring and peeling. It was such a pain to carve the core out…now, 2 seconds and that sucker is cored. And even better, it works great on tomatoes. I have a great recipe that calls for cooking halved tomatoes in some olive oil, but you have to core them first. Before the corer arrived, I had to do tomato surgery with my knife. Now, it takes two seconds. I love it.

Then there are those gadgets that appear to be the answer to cooking awesomeness, but then they leave you feeling empty and looking for more. Like looking for more heat. My crazy expensive digital meat thermometer, for example. Last year at Christmas I decided that no more would I wonder if my prime rib was done or not. I was tired of guessing, of timing, and checking, and timing some more, only to over cook the roast. So I again convinced the Ministry that this was a needed, nay, required expense, unless she wanted to eat gray and nasty beef. Susan, being a serious carnivore who likes her cow to flinch a little when she cuts it, gave in, and off I went to the cooking store. I returned, and ceremoniously plugged the little sucker into my beautiful rib roast, set the temp that I wanted it to beep at me, and turned to other important things, like drinking beer. Sure enough, it beeped, and I pulled the roast out of the oven, let it rest for a bit, and then began carving. What the??? It wasn’t even close to being done. The inside was blood rare and cold. Even Susan wrinkled her nose at how rare it was. That has now happened to a turkey, and I swear, that thing has to be at least 20 degrees off. I don’t believe I’ve used it since.

Then there was the double-bladed herb mincing thing with the matching cutting bowl. Herb mincing heaven, or so I thought. Except for the small fact that the blades are too close together so that the herbs clog up in there, even garlic, and it’s a real treat to snake a finger up between the two über-sharp blades to unclog it. I’m not really sure where it is anymore.

But, being an addict like I am, I will inevitably fall victim to the next cool thing that catches my eye at the store. In fact, I think I’m already smitten. For some reason, I am convinced that life will not have much meaning anymore until I can snag one of those cool Santoku knives. Don’t ask me why, I just need one. Seriously.